Resolution 4: Build Relationships

I grew up in a conservative evangelical church and on a couple of occasions my friends and I started what we called "accountability groups. Anyone who grew up listening to DC talk know what I'm talking about? The idea was that we'd hold each other accountable and call each other out on "sin" (sin for high school evangelical boys was almost always masturbation. Lets just admit that. The evangelical church is really weird about sex, but that's whole other series of blog posts).

Inevitably these groups didn't work. At least for me. It's just really hard to get motivated by the idea of Christian piety. Who get's excited about a whole bunch of things you're not supposed to do?

I don't think the idea is a total loss though. I've read somewhere that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I'm not sure that's one hundred percent accurate, but I definitely think there's some truth to it. I think our little group of high school guys was trying to leverage that reality even if it wasn't to the most exciting of ends. 

So what if instead of using the power of influential relationships to keep ourselves from rounding third base with our significant others, we used that power to actually do something awesome?

That's where Resolution No 4 comes from. I want to do some really awesome things. I've got some big plans and goals for the next year, but I know I can't do them if the people around me aren't doing anything. Momentum breeds more momentum. If your friends are content to work a dead end 9-5 job; there's a greater chance that you will be too. If that's what you want to do that's fine. Do what makes you happy.

For me though, I need something more. If I'm going to achieve my dreams then I'm going to have to have people in my life who are chasing theirs as well. 

I'm not saying that I need to go around and start cutting ties with everyone in my life who's not living up to their fullest potential. What I am saying, though, is that I need to to be intentional about my relationships. They matter. There are people in this world who'll lift me up, and there are people who, intentionally or not, will drag me down. 

Just ask anyone who's ever tried to lose weight, go back to college to finish that degree, or make any sort of positive change in their life. There will be those, they probably won't come out and say it, but you can tell they don't really want them to succeed. You can feel it. It comes out in the snide little remarks. It comes out as condescension. It's the little things. It's like they're threatened by your potential success. You don't need that in your life. 

Instead find people who do have your best interest at heart. People who when you tell them your dreams and what you want to achieve don't give you the stink eye. Instead they give you encouragement. You can feel that they're behind you and they want you to get out there and achieve those goals. They aren't threatened by your success. Instead they benefit from it. Not in a parasitic type way, but in a healthy way. They understand that your success is somehow connected to them. They understand that your momentum is contagious and if you're out there being awesome then everyone else gets to benefit form that as well. 

I need to surround myself with those type of people. I've got quite a few of them already. After I hang out with them, I always leave feeling pumped and excited about whatever project I've got in the works. I also get excited for whatever it is they're working on. Momentum breeds more momentum. The stuff is contagious. 

So get out there and find people heading places and doing awesome things. Surround yourself with them. Inspire each other. Build each other up. Because when you're being awesome we all benefit from it.