Millenials, Freedom, Work, and Success

I'd like to talk about a conversation I had this week, a book I'm reading, and some thoughts on work and freedom that I think somehow tie the whole thing together.

 
Earlier this week I was having a conversation with a woman who was telling me about her nephew. I didn't know too much about her. I gathered she was rather wealthy. She looked like she was in mid-late fifties and definitely a younger member of the baby boomer generation. I tell you all these things because I think they help provide context for our conversation and I think help me to understand where she might be coming from. Let's pretend her name is Kathy. 

Anyways we were talking about how it seems that younger generations can't seem to stay in one job for very long. I was trying hard to not incriminate myself. I'm one of those guys who get bored with jobs almost every 18 months like clockwork. I got the sense that she wouldn't approve of my occupational wanderlust. 

She described for me how her nephew was emblematic of this problem. He sold life insurance and was apparently really good at it. He made great money. He received residuals in addition to his commission. This should have been a dream job. Kathy told me that she didn't understand why he didn't want to invest the next 15 or 20 years of his life into this. If he did he would be set for life. What was his problem?

This brings me to the Four Hour Work Week. For those who don't know this is a book written by Tim Ferriss. I'm only a third of the way in, so please no spoilers. In this book Ferriss talks about what he calls the New Rich, or NR. According to Ferriss the traditional way of making a living involved graduating from a good college, working for a good company for twenty-five years, then retiring to live the rest of your life, having finally attained the freedom you worked so hard to get. 

The NR however don't want any part of that. Ferriss describes the NR as people who value time and freedom just as highly as income. Absolute Income isn't what's most important. The real metric that matters to the NR (and I'd like to expand this to almost all of us who think of themselves as Millennials) is Relative Income. The NR ask, "Who cares if you're making a six figure salary if you're working 80 hours a week?" It'd be better to bring home half that, if you get to work hours that don't threaten to send you to an early grave.

Additionally the NR question the idea of retirement. This could be because a lot of of graduated high school and college and walked into a job market during one of the worst recessions in history or the fact we watched our parent's and grandparent's life savings lose almost half their value when the market crashed. The whole idea of working our life away in jobs we don't really like until our bodies start to fail and then we get to sit back and enjoy our lives just sounds like a terrible deal. 

And this brings me to where I'm at now. I'm definitely not a member of the NR. In fact I'm pretty broke most days, but I definitely agree with those sentiments. When Kathy was telling me about how she couldn't believe that her nephew would quit selling life insurance, I was like I get it. The thought of trading years of my life for drudgery and misery all so that when I'm 65 I can retire and then enjoy the fruits of my labor sound awful. I'm sorry, but I'll pass.

So in closing if you're young and like me, it's OK. There are a lot of us out there. You can live the life you want. You'll have to be creative and resourceful, but you'll figure it out. I have faith in you. If you're like Kathy and you just don't understand why we young whippersnappers don't just get with the program already; I promise you, we'll be OK. It's a big new world out there and the ways that you guys made your living doesn't necessarily work anymore. But you did a good job raising us and we'll find a way to become successful. Even if that success doesn't look like it would have 20 or 30 years ago. 

Thanks so much for reading guys. You're all awesome. 

Resolution 4: Build Relationships

I grew up in a conservative evangelical church and on a couple of occasions my friends and I started what we called "accountability groups. Anyone who grew up listening to DC talk know what I'm talking about? The idea was that we'd hold each other accountable and call each other out on "sin" (sin for high school evangelical boys was almost always masturbation. Lets just admit that. The evangelical church is really weird about sex, but that's whole other series of blog posts).

Inevitably these groups didn't work. At least for me. It's just really hard to get motivated by the idea of Christian piety. Who get's excited about a whole bunch of things you're not supposed to do?

I don't think the idea is a total loss though. I've read somewhere that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I'm not sure that's one hundred percent accurate, but I definitely think there's some truth to it. I think our little group of high school guys was trying to leverage that reality even if it wasn't to the most exciting of ends. 

So what if instead of using the power of influential relationships to keep ourselves from rounding third base with our significant others, we used that power to actually do something awesome?

That's where Resolution No 4 comes from. I want to do some really awesome things. I've got some big plans and goals for the next year, but I know I can't do them if the people around me aren't doing anything. Momentum breeds more momentum. If your friends are content to work a dead end 9-5 job; there's a greater chance that you will be too. If that's what you want to do that's fine. Do what makes you happy.

For me though, I need something more. If I'm going to achieve my dreams then I'm going to have to have people in my life who are chasing theirs as well. 

I'm not saying that I need to go around and start cutting ties with everyone in my life who's not living up to their fullest potential. What I am saying, though, is that I need to to be intentional about my relationships. They matter. There are people in this world who'll lift me up, and there are people who, intentionally or not, will drag me down. 

Just ask anyone who's ever tried to lose weight, go back to college to finish that degree, or make any sort of positive change in their life. There will be those, they probably won't come out and say it, but you can tell they don't really want them to succeed. You can feel it. It comes out in the snide little remarks. It comes out as condescension. It's the little things. It's like they're threatened by your potential success. You don't need that in your life. 

Instead find people who do have your best interest at heart. People who when you tell them your dreams and what you want to achieve don't give you the stink eye. Instead they give you encouragement. You can feel that they're behind you and they want you to get out there and achieve those goals. They aren't threatened by your success. Instead they benefit from it. Not in a parasitic type way, but in a healthy way. They understand that your success is somehow connected to them. They understand that your momentum is contagious and if you're out there being awesome then everyone else gets to benefit form that as well. 

I need to surround myself with those type of people. I've got quite a few of them already. After I hang out with them, I always leave feeling pumped and excited about whatever project I've got in the works. I also get excited for whatever it is they're working on. Momentum breeds more momentum. The stuff is contagious. 

So get out there and find people heading places and doing awesome things. Surround yourself with them. Inspire each other. Build each other up. Because when you're being awesome we all benefit from it. 

Read More

This is one that I’ve been able to do some work on, but not enough to be neccessarily proud of.

I’ve read maybe 8 books this year? I was hoping for something inthe neighborhood of 2 a month, but I guess this will have to do. I still have time though.

First off I want to say thanks. The last two blog posts have been some of the best recieved ones to so far. I’m really proud of them and I’m incredibly thankful to all the people who were awesome and shared and commented. You guys are the best. Thanks so much!

Read more! So this is one goal that I was able to actually do something about. I was shooting to read two books a month. As you can see I didn’t get anywhere near that, but I read quite a bit more than I had anticipated. Here’s a quick rundown of what I was stuffing my eyeholes with this last year

In no particular order:

Presence: Human Purpose and the Field of the Future - Peter M. Senge, C. Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, Betty Sue Flowers

I started reading this at the beginning of the year after having it suggested to me by my capstone course instructor. It’s a really good book and I highly recommend it. It gets a little woo woo at times, but stick with it. It’s basically four authors coming to terms with how do we problem solve in a world where are problems are just so massive (pending ecological disaster, increasing gaps between rich and poor, etc). Really great stuff.

Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t - Simon Sinek

I first heard Simon Sinek giving a TED talk. I can’t remember which one, but he was talking about how the best leaders put their people first. He said that in the Marine Corps the officers let the enlisted men go first. The leader’s job was to take care of his people. I started reading this book after I became a supervisor at my job. It instilled in the idea that my staff came first. I take care of and empower them and they’re better able to complete the tasks we had been assigned.

Turn the Ship Around!: A True Story of Turning Followers into Leaders - L. David Marquet

This book was listed as a footnote in Leaders Eat Last. It picks up on a lot of the same themes. The primary thing I took from it was that when I’m leading a team or something, the best thing I can do is decentralize decision making. It’s best to give authority to people who’re on the ground level. They’re the ones with the experience and the real know how. Let them make decisions. He also encourages leaders to be curious. Really fun read and really cool story.

War of Art - Steven Pressfield

I’m not sure why I started reading this one. I think I’d heard about it somewhere along the way. If you’re someone who does anything creative, or believes that their work is in some way connected to a larger purpose and is a part of who they are, I highly recommend this one. Pressfield believes that we all have some important work to do in this world. He uses spiritual type language in describing it which might turn some people off, but stick with it. He gives lots of practical advice. If you consider yourself a creator/writer/artist/etc, he says quit waiting for inspiration and just do work. He demystifies the work. You have to become a professional, not in the sense that you get paid for your work. You have to treat what you’re creating like you would work. You show up and put in the hours. Really good book. Go read it.

Gates of Fire - Steven Pressfield

I found this one in the back of War of Art. I picked it up to read on a flight. I’d really liked Steven Pressfield’s work so far. I thought an account of the battle of Thermopylae would be an interesting read. If the Spartans were anything like what Pressfield describes them as, holy cow they were insane. I don’t know how historically accurate the book is, but it’s a really fun read. And even if it’s not completely accurate there are some great takeaways about courage, fear, and love that I took from it.

Scientific Principles of Strength Training - Mike Israetel, James Hoffman, Chad Wesley

2015 was the year I got back into the gym. I don’t know how I stumbled upon Renaissance Periodization for the first time, but their dieting and weight lifting knowledge has been invaluable. While this book caters more to someone who is more into the power lifting side of things, there still plenty of good info in it. It’s really well researched and honestly most of the biology/physiology stuff is over my head. They keep it accessible though. It’s less of a one size fits all work out regimen and more of a “Here’s a bunch of science. Go make one that works for you.”

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne

Did you know that almost all the great classic books that are over one hundered fifty years old are available for download for free? They are and it’s awesome. There’s almost no excuse for not picking up a few of these and reading some classic literature. I remember my dad reading children's versions of these books to me when I was little. Jules Verne was my favorite. He created all these crazy worlds and adventures. I loved it. I finally got around to reading the unabriged version of 20,000 leagues this year, and this guy was truly a creative genius. Captain Nemo is a great character. I enjoyed it.

The Renaissance Diet - Mike Israetel, Jen Case, James Hoffman

This was the first Renaissance Periodization book I read. It basically is a scientific breakdown of the “if it meets your macros” (IIFYM) diet. There’s a ton of good science in it. It’s a pretty easy read and unlike their powerlifting book, is applicable to just about any type of athlete.  

Kettlebell Simple and Sinister - Pavel Tsatsouline

2015 was the year I got back into the gym. The thing is I also get bored pretty easily so I’m alway looking for new things or unorthodox way of training. I came across Pavel’s work in a podcast and picked up this, his lastest book. The workout regimen he describes is ridiculously simple. Kettlebell swings and Turkish get-ups. I did these pretty regularly for a few months. It was great for my conditioning. I really like Pavel’s minimalist approach to fitness and I highly reccommend this one. You can get fit with one kettlebell, 20 minutes, and some open space.

Godless Shakespeare - Eric S. Mallin

My Shakespeare professor got me this after I graduated from college. I’d taken three classes with him over the years and the same themes always seemed to pop up in Shakespeare’s work. He always seemed to be taking the traditional values, cultural norms, beliefs, etc. and then he’d turn those on their heads.

In Godless Shakespeare the authors (it’s actually a collection of essays) look at how Shakespeare subverts the religious norms of his day. It’s really good. Some of the essays get a bit pretentious sounding, but it picks up on and elaborates on a lot of themes that I’d been noticing.

Alright. That’s what I read last year. Any suggestions on what I should read this year? If so put them down in the comments or tweet them at me. @JoshuaNWise

The Greatest Lie

This is just a quick break from giving a rundown of last years resolutions. I’m gonna finish it. I just wanted to share this really quick.

I was listening Rob Bell’s podcast last night and he made the statement that the Greatest Lie is that this is as good as it gets.

I thought this was fantastic. I look back on my life and I think about how many times I’ve settled into circumstances telling myself, “This is better than nothing.” When in reality I was miserable and unhappy.

I’ll be honest. I’m not really all that thrilled about where I’m at in life right now. I’m caught in this weird time of transition. I’m in the process of moving. I have an apartment in one town, but most of my things are in a spare room at my parents. I only really get to see my girlfriend on the weekends. I have a decent job and a great boss, but it’s exhausting and worse than that it’s not challenging. That may not make sense, but imagine coming home everyday completely wiped and when you’re asked what you did you can honestly say you did nothing. It’s not fun.

The Greek Orthodox church has this notion of the divine called Perichoresis. It literally translates into a “circle dance.” It's this idea that each person of the trinity was involved in a dance with the other two. For them god was dancing with God’s self, and that the divine goal is to invite and draw all of creation into this dance. For the Greek Orthodox church the center of the universe is dancing, it’s joy, it’s fun and everyone and everything is invited.

Now maybe you don’t believe in God, or terms like the trinity aren’t all that helpful or maybe they’re even harmful. That’s ok. I still believe the metaphor works. Regardless of our beliefs and opinions about metaphysical things, I believe we can all agree that at some level when we know when we’ve stepped into that dance. We feel it when find ourselves doing that thing that we believe we were meant to do. There’s a rhythm to it and you can feel it in your guts.

It’s like we all kind of instinctively know that life at it’s core should be a dance.

So maybe this is more of a pep talk for me, but maybe you guys can get something out of it too.

I have big dreams and ideas. I have things that I want to do that seem fantastic and out of reach. I think that 2016 is going to be a huge year for me. It’ll be tough. It’ll require working a less than satisfying job to pay the bills and when I’m not there I’m chasing this other thing. There’ll be exhaustion and stress and a ton of work involved to get where I want to go, but man, I’ve seen glimpses of things and I’m like, “What if I went after them?” I feel this energetic potential and rhythm and I’m thinking, “What if I stepped into that?”

Start dancing people. The world needs you.

Resolution 2: Give More Pt 2

Alright guys, sorry about the delay. The holidays came and went and it seemed that I had next to no time to finish this post. That and procrastination is a thing.  

Anyways. Last time I left off asking the question, is scarcity the thing that drives everything? Are we really in competition with everyone around us?

I’d like to believe that there’s another way, a better way. It doesn’t have to be scarcity, competition, and conflict.

The other way is Gift.

This is gonna get kinda woo woo, but bear with me.

I believe that the center of the universe isn’t scarcity, but generosity. Sure we might have very real shortages of physical resources. People live in poverty. Fossil fuels will at some point run out. There are food shortages and there are people who don’t have access to clean water. Those are real issues that need to be addressed, but I’m not talking about that. The generosity I’m talking about lies deeper than that.

The generosity I’m talking about is the generosity you see when you realize that all of this is a gift. The Universe, God, Non-Personal Ultimate Reality, use whatever noun you’re comfortable with, gave you a gift. You have today. You have air in your lungs, and it’s a gift. This is the generosity that I believe lies at the center of it all. I believe that it starts with gift.

I believe that if we start in that place, a place where generosity under girds the whole thing, it changes everything. I no longer feel the panicked need to hoard things. I’m not in competition with everyone else around me. Instead everything I have is a gift. And from that place I can truly be more generous myself. I’ve been given so much and my only response is to try to be just as generous.

So does this mean I’m going to be more giving? I don’t know. I hope so. I do know that for generosity to really matter it’s going to have to start from a place of gratitude.

Resolsution 2: Give More Pt 1

Man it feels good to have that first post done. It's been sitting as a draft for close to a year. It was like a treadmill that you bought in attempt to get in shape, but now is a really expensive place to hang clothes. It's done though. I feel good about it. I like the idea of minimalism, and it's something I might write about more in the future. 

On to Resolution 2: Give more Pt 1

I'll be honest. This one I haven't been good at. Over the past year I think it's safe to say I've given maybe total of a handful of change away. I mean I've donated a bunch of stuff to Goodwill after I've moved, but I don't think that counts. It's not like I was giving to a family who desperately needed a floral print couch with Dorito crumbs under the cushions. Goodwill just happened to be a lot closer than the dump.

It’s really easy for me to beat myself up for this. I can wallow in guilt and all that, but that’s just not helpful. Sure I can guilt myself into being generous for a while, but that never lasts and I go back to not being generous and then I feel like garbage about it and the whole cycle starts again. Instead of beating myself up I want to tell two stories. I believe that there are two primary ways of viewing ourselves, our resources, and our relationships with those resources that might give some insight into this idea of generosity.

In case you guys haven’t noticed it’s Christmas season out there. You can’t go anywhere without being run over by advertisements counting down the number of days left or telling you that you need to hurry because these supplies and prices won’t last. There are lists online of the hottest gifts of 2015 and you need to get them for your loved ones before they run out. Otherwise their holiday will be ruined! You don’t want that do you? And this all leads the frantic pace and constant stress and anxiety that leave so many of us just beat and secretly wishing that the holidays would just get over with already.

In marketing they call this the Scarcity Principle. It’s where the advertiser tries to convince us that supplies are running out or that we need to act now to lock in that low low price. It appeals to our caveman brain that still believes that we’re living in a cave and that if we don’t stockpile while we have the chance we’ll starve to death and become some saber tooth tiger’s next meal.

The thing is though, when you start to peel back the layers, all the marketing, the advertising, it’s all based on a particular way of viewing the world and it’s resources. Underneath it all is the belief that there is simply not enough. That there’s not enough money.  That there’s not enough time. That there’s not enough resources, and we run the risk of running out. So we need to accumulate all we can or else. This particular view of the world and it’s resources is built one built on scarcity.

This view has some pretty serious implications. There are around 7 billion people on this planet all with needs and wants of their own. But if there’s not enough resources for me, then there’s certainly not enough for them, right? I mean I have to take care of myself, my family, and my tribe first? We all need to get all we can, even if that means that some people are left without. They, of course, will attempt to do the same thing.  Can you blame them? Inherently this view places us in a state of competition, tension and violence with the world around us, with our neighbors, with the environment, with everything.

Is this really the way it is? Is there really not enough for everyone? Is it the case that human relationships are inherently based on competition, tension, and violence? Is the cold hard truth at the center of it all the fact that there’s not enough to go around and some people are just going to have to go without? 

Is scarcity really at the heart of it all?

Or is there something else?

That’ll be part two.
Peace

Resolution 1 Part 2: More experiences.

And I’m back after almost a year hiatus to finish Part 2 of my first New Year’s Resolution - Fewer things, More experiences.

This is one resolution that I'm happy to say I was able to make some progress This last year I was able to go to Ireland on a rugby tour. In addition to playing some of the best rugby I've ever played; I met wonderful people. I watched the St Patrick's day parade in downtown Limerick. I drank with locals in a bar until 3 in the morning singing Johnny Cash songs. I learned to pour the perfect pint of Guinness, and I have the diploma to prove it. I broke almost every single rule my parents gave me as a kid about taking food or rides from strangers. Later in the year I got the opportunity to visit a friend in Anguilla. I was able to spend a few days sitting on deserted white sand beaches watching the surf crash. We drove ATVs from one end of the island to the other, and I’m pretty sure that I’m doomed to get skin cancer after the resulting sunburn.

Experiences are what make life great. When I look back and think about all the important, beautiful, and memorable moments I've lived through, they were almost never because of what I had acquired. I've never looked back and thought, "Man I remember the good old days when I had dishes and plates that matched and weren't hand-me-downs from my parents." They were moments. It was the music of a local band playing in someone’s living room. It was laughing until I cried at the dinner table. It was holding my nephew and niece for the first time.


It doesn't have to be big stuff. For me a lot of this has been tied to travel, but it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to fly off to Europe on a whim and live out the plot of Eat Pray Love. It can just be little things. Take time to catch up with an old friend. Learn a new skill. I learned to ride a longboard this year. For a month my elbows were nothing but scabs and I could have sworn I had fractured my collarbone. But now I can add “Proficient at Longboarding” to my resume and who doesn’t want that?


To go back to my original point of "Fewer things" I'm not saying having stuff is bad. I love stuff. I love my stuff. It's just that I'm going to remember and cherish the fact that every year my brothers and I go out and play paintball in the mud and snow the day after Christmas far more than I'm going to cherish the paintball gun that's in my closet and gathers dust the other 364 days out of the year.

x